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Riding the Storm

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[20 Jul 2007|07:03pm]

Hi. My name is Jennifer, I am 20 years old, and I just joined this community.  Among several others.  My boyfriend and I were friends for two and half years before we started dating. He has bipolar disorder. When we first started dating everything was fine. We were both very happy. We spent every possible second together.  Recently (last night), I logged onto lj and did something I had never done. I asked for help from complete strangers. I joined at least, if not more than, 10 communities last night alone; posting the same thing in each one (which I will post here as well). I got some good feedback and a lot of answers. I know that loving someone and having a good relationship with someone who has bipolar disorder isn't easy. But I love him very much. As both a friend and a significant other. Here is what I posted in the other communites, any advice or words of wisdom is welcome and greatly appreciated. 

"Hi. My name is Jennifer,  I am 20 years old and my boyfriend is bipolar. I am writing in several communities in hopes that someone in one of them can help me in some way.  My boyfriend and I were friends for two and half years before we started dating. Everything was fine for awhile and then suddenly on June 29 of this year he calls and says he wants to break up and that he doesn't love me any more and never did. He gives me a new reason for doing this every few minutes and says he wants to stay friends. I later hear from a mutual friend that he had told her a few days earlier " i dont want to do this but i feel i have to." When she asked him why, he replied "Because I'm bipolar." A week later we get back together. Everything seems to be going back to the way it was. Then tonight he calls me and says he wants to break up again. He gives thee same reasons he gave last time and again says that he feels he has to do this. He again says he doesnt love me. And this time says he cant talk to me or be around me anymore but refuses to give me a reason. This all happened the day after I we had a date and he seemed to be very happy. 
I want to ask those in this community if I am right in what I think is causing his behavior. 
I feel, as do a few mutual friends, that he is suffering from a manic episode. I told him this and he said that he wasn't because he was on his meds. 
I also want to ask if it is possible to have a relapse if on the medication lithium. 
I am very heartbroken and don't know what to do. Any advice is welcome. 
If more information is needed, let me know and I will get it to you as soon as I can.
Thanks so much. "

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Have you seen this? [01 Sep 2006|08:22pm]
Evictions off campus due to suicide attempts OR admission to a hospital for depression

I was outraged when I did. The last thing a depressed student needs is to be immediately tossed onto the streets. Yes I understand that these colleges/universities may not have the resources nor the necessitity to build mental institutions on campus, but certainly they should be required to treat their fellow human beings with some measure of dignity, if not even a trace of compassion. I do not accept the premise that they are seeking whats in the students' best interests. I wonder if in fact they are serving their own, in seeking shelter for their insurance policies away from legal storms. The problem for them is that within the ADA the legal standard for individuals with disabilities is the most integrated policies possible, in concurrence with the standards specified by the individual's treatment providers. There are certain factors that need to be considered here, such as whether or not the students could be defined under the law as persons with disabilities, etc. Even if these institutions of learning are safe due to these specific circumstances, it seems they are building their campus policies on quicksand rather than modern legal ethics.
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Feeling lost [07 Aug 2006|03:32pm]
Do you ever just feel...lost? Not sure why you feel the way you do or do the things you do, dissociated, but also on the edge of a deep, black pit that you are scared of falling in. You have difficulty staying focused, and when you get frustrated at the poor amount of productivity you've accomplished in the day (routines are nearly impossible) you feel like everything's going to hell in a handbasket. Do you find it strange that the people around you have no idea of how you feel from the way you act, react, or how you might interpret their actions and reactions? Sometimes when you tell them, they give you a lot of sympathy as though you are really depressed, but I dont feel especially depressed, yet. It could change without warning. Its really hard to relate to others at that point, because they just don't understand where you are coming from.

I've been on Zoloft for a couple of years now. Should it help more with this?
I'm not on any other psych meds. I have an appointment for a therapist on the 11th, at my insistance. My PCP is skeptical because I don't go on spending or drinking binges, even though I can't seem to complete a degree at college or keep a routine or keep up lasting relationships because I have times when Im depressed and times when I make all kinds of plans that I never seem to focus on long enough to put into practice. It was hell to convince her to let me have a referral, that this is really interfering with my life. I want to move forward, and the best way is to be completely honest and ask for help where I need it. I'm so tired of trying to do it all on my own and falling flat on my face. I want to get to a psychiatrist for an evaluation, just to get to know what it is and what can help. They won't let me see a psychiatrist until I've seen a therapist. My PCP is trying to convince them to have the therapist see me for a while before a psychiatrist. I figure I can let her say all she wants but it will be in the specialist's hands where it belongs. I've been in therapy. In fact, it was my last therapist who suggested I might be bipolar. So they gave me Zoloft and thats that.

How do you know when a med is really helping? I know for the most part I haven't gotten as terribly depressed as I used to, I can talk myself away from it. They say thats what Zoloft does...any input on this?
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WRAP Program in Nashua NH [31 Jul 2006|10:16pm]
[ mood | giggly ]

cross-posted in disability, Vermont, and New Hampshire interest communities courtesy of creactiv_voice

WRAP Program in Nashua, NH

This round of the 6 week program has already started, and they recommend that you don't start in the middle. The next round is slated for late November of this year, so sign up now!

For more information and to get on the waiting list, email:

michael@ dbsanashua.org

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Rate your local Vocational Rehabilitation Office at creactiv_voice [29 Jul 2006|12:15pm]
[ mood | crappy ]

Be heard at creactiv_voice

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An Update on Things. [09 May 2005|07:52pm]

[ mood | hungry ]

I haven't updated about my wife and I in a long time. So here goes....

How Things Are Going.Collapse )

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Living with a Bipolar Wife [13 Oct 2004|08:56pm]

[ mood | cheerful ]

For the last 4 years I have been married to a great woman. She is kind, caring, funny, sexy and fun to be with. She is all this despite her bipolar disorder condition. Don't get me wrong, it isn't all fun and games. We have problems when she gets really depressed or manicy. We have gone though many poor side effects of various meds, the loss of close friends, the close-mindedness of relatives and the hundreds of hours of P-Doc appointments and visits to the pharmacy.

Through all this, I have learned to adjust my career and needs to protect her and our family. Recently my three kids have all been diagnosed with ADHD. So now everyone but myself is on meds.

I hope I can help others in this group as they help me. Together we strong, along we are weak.

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interesting interview [10 Aug 2004|12:53pm]


Some people here might find this interview interesting. It was broadcast this week on ABC (Australia's, not America's) Radio National and is an interview with an ABC sports broadcaster on his experiences with BP.

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Greetings to group [31 May 2004|03:34pm]
[ mood | lonely ]


I'm new to this group, but not to the ravages of living with a bi-polar wife. Been married 25 years... 16 of them have been BP "aware years". Have two great kids, ages 9 and 15, to whom I am very attached. Most of the time lately I want to divorce my BPSO, but the idea of putting the kids through that causes paralysis... But I am so very tired and am afraid my life is being robbed as every day passes with very little happiness, save what I get from my kids.

Anyway, I have belonged to various BP significant others groups on the net for a few years and it's always interesting to hear other thoughts and know that others are in the same boat... (It was very lonely during the first 10 years, before the net came along and helped me see I was not alone).

My wife has generally been "med-compliant" though her PDOC has let me know she has always been extremely "med resistant" along with a whole slew of other personality and mental issues. I have slowly learned to truly dislike her, though I know she is not truly to blame... I just wish I could put many, many miles between us. But the kids make that hard.

She has, in the past, threatened to off herself and the kids, but I am not sure if that is a way of making sure I don't do anything radical (like leaving her). Of course, I would not leave my kids with her... but what scares the heck out of me is getting some whacked judge who gives her custody...

But just getting as far as a courtroom is challenging, as she has sponged off of me so much over the years that we really have nothing save our home (for which I have been almost totally responsible for) and credit card bills, etc. I have no money for a lawyer... I have consulted with one...

And I used to love her so darned much...

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Hey [12 May 2004|09:31pm]

[ mood | content ]

Guess this community isn't what's considered sucessful. I think this may be because lots of bipolar relationships aren't....not a lot of us hanging around eh?

Things in my life have been going rather well. My husband is fairly stable and is down to taking only one med. They've taken him off the zyprexa FINALLY (they said a few weeks and it ended up being a year). Maybe now he can get to losing the 80lbs it helped him gain. I think I'm really lucky to have the guy that I have, he's so kind and gentle and funny and intelligent. As for me, I've lost 23lbs this year, I plan on this being the year that I finally get to a healthy weight. It would be nice to get Michael down to a healthy weight too but getting him to exercise is a workout in and of itself. Anyhow, thought I'd float a message out there into the void. Hope things are going well with you all. :)

- Krista

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Figured out how to post here! [27 Nov 2003|12:24pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

Got it, thanks, Mandril!

B and I have been married for ten years and I knew going in that he was BP. He had a hospitalization just 5 months before we got married. I'm not saying I'm some kind of hero, but that noone is without flaw. The BP thing is harder than some, easier than others. One of my friends said once that if B wasn't such a big pussycat that she'd encourage me to move out NOW.

The financial side of BP is hard and hurtful. We have to have constant discussion about need VS want, and soemtimes the bank account is just empty (sigh).

The upside of BP is that the funny and energetic person that you are involved with wouldn't be that funny and energetic without BP. I told B one day to tell his Muse (our nick for being manic) to F&&k off and leave him alone. The only problem is that he is a scientist and without his muse his work is only good, not brilliant.

We've had our times,, god knows we'll have more, but it is very affirming to me that I see some of the things that we've weathered as a couple happening to others and I hope that my experiences may be helpful to some of you who have been doing this for less time than me.

One of the hardest things that I have had to do since I found out is to stop overanalyzing behavior. Sounds trite, but sometimes happy is just happy, horny is just horny, and sad is just sad. Talk to me in 6 months and things might be bad or good, doesn't matter, we married for better and for worse and as long as the bank card stays in my pocket...


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Gah! [16 Nov 2003|12:43am]

[ mood | disappointed ]

I just found out that Michael hasn't taken his meds in a couple weeks...and he's been lying to me about it.


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[12 Nov 2003|07:13pm]

Yay, Michael got approved for social security disability....off to pay debts!

We killed the balance on his credit card today. Woot.
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Stir Crazy [03 Nov 2003|01:28pm]

Since Michael's big breakdown (blow-up?) in February and March, he hasn't been able to work. He attempted to for a bit but his therapist and his doctor both told him to stop when he was getting suicidal over it. Not working wasn't such an issue when we were living with his parents, but now that we've got our own apartment an hour and a half away, we are both having difficulty with finding things to do and getting human interaction. Both of us are kinda shy people who have problems making friends. The few friends I have are living in various parts of California while I'm all the way over in New Hampshire. The friends Michael had kinda seem to have faded into the woodwork. This makes weekends and evenings a problem. What do we do when we don't have anyone to do it with? Eating dinner and shopping for dinner stuff have become a main source of entertainment. Since making friends takes time, and they aren't likely to come knocking on our door looking for us, I have kept an eye out for things to do that will get us out of the house. Unfortunately we live in a rural area and activities are limited.

I'm getting wordy here and having a hard time getting to the point, I'm sorry.

My problem is that I can't seem to interest Michael in ANYTHING. I like riding my bike, I like going for walks, I like going to stores (not necessarily buying anything...), I'd love to learn to kayak or go canoeing or camping or anything...I like to do lots of things. The problem is that I present an idea to Michael and he just shrugs it off. If I make him come with me to do anything I feel like I'm dragging him around. I'm not sure how to deal with this because the staying in the apartment doing nothing is driving me stir crazy. I work all week and the weekends are a welcome break from working with with my students (who all happen to have behavioral challenges and/or emotional disabilities)...but each weekend is spent with me sinking into a depression of my own over my inability to find something we can do.....As for Michael, he doesn't have a job so he is at home 24/7. He says he gets bored...but that doesn't inspire him to do anything else. It can't be healthy

I'd like to blame this all on Michael's depression, but he hasn't been depressed every single weekend.

I dunno, I'm not expecting a solution, I just need to vent.
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Intro [05 Oct 2003|01:16pm]

Hi. I just found this community, and I think it's great. My boyfriend has bipolar disorder, and sometimes I just get very frustrated. We're long distance, so I feel very helpless sometimes, because I'm not around.

Do your SOs go to some sort of "talk therapy?" I thought perhaps my boy should give that a try, in addition to his meds, of course.

If they have gone, has it helped any?

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[21 Sep 2003|06:22pm]

Things have been great between Michael and I lately. This last week is the first chance we've had to be a couple with our own space since we were married ( almost two years O.o ). It kinda feels like a little honeymoon so I'm not letting these good feelings fool me into thinking it's a permanent thing.....but it's nice. Yesterday he made me blueberry pancakes, today he made french toast, grilled cheese, and together we made steak fajitas. He's such a nice boy to cook for me and do so many of the dishes.

It's nice to have a reminder that things between us can be so good. Something to remind him of when he's not feeling so great about the concept of "us".
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[12 Sep 2003|03:27pm]

My bf is bipolar and has been stable for about 8 months (since before I met him). I am confident that we can have a long period before another episode, since he has maintained a healthy diet, good sleep schedule, and keeps active. He is trying his best as well, but he has quit his meds even though he was told not to. The only med he still takes is his seroquel. I don't know much about the drug, other than it makes him sleep at night and helps his thoughts slow down. I beleive this is part of what keeps him stable. I was wondering, is this pill addictive, for he says he cannot sleep unless he takes this pill. And, what are some of the side effects? He heard that it can cause diabetes. Any advice/knowledge would help :-) Thanks!
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[07 Sep 2003|10:05pm]

If you wanna sing out, sing out...
if you wanna be free, be free...

Cause there's a million ways to be you know that there are....

Michael's on two new meds, Risperdal (hey I used to pass that stuff out like candy at Reliance House) instead of Zyprexa and Neurontin instead of Depakote. The doctor switched him because he's gained about 50lbs since march. These new meds aren't supposed to have the weight gain side effect that the other two did. The last two days have shown Michael to be very loving and rational. Time will tell as to whether it's the new meds or just another random temporary fluctuation.

I'm reading about Neurontin right now....seems to work quickly and sometimes very well at first there is evidence that it's effectiveness wears off after a while. flarf.

Like I said he's planning on coming with me when we move. Right now my hope level is pretty high, Michael's such a good guy....bipolar is such an ugly illness.
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[04 Sep 2003|10:06pm]

[ mood | crushed ]

Every time I get my hopes up he's gotta do something stupid and remind me that we're doomed.

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[30 Aug 2003|08:11pm]

[ mood | hopeful ]

I'm feeling a little bit better about things now, I talked with Michael today and he reaffirmed that he loves me and wants to stay healthy.....I don't think things are gonna work if he stays away from substances because of me....better if it comes out of his own desire to be healthy. It's just a matter of how you look at things.

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