Chickpeas (mandil) wrote in bpsos,
Chickpeas
mandil
bpsos

Stir Crazy

Since Michael's big breakdown (blow-up?) in February and March, he hasn't been able to work. He attempted to for a bit but his therapist and his doctor both told him to stop when he was getting suicidal over it. Not working wasn't such an issue when we were living with his parents, but now that we've got our own apartment an hour and a half away, we are both having difficulty with finding things to do and getting human interaction. Both of us are kinda shy people who have problems making friends. The few friends I have are living in various parts of California while I'm all the way over in New Hampshire. The friends Michael had kinda seem to have faded into the woodwork. This makes weekends and evenings a problem. What do we do when we don't have anyone to do it with? Eating dinner and shopping for dinner stuff have become a main source of entertainment. Since making friends takes time, and they aren't likely to come knocking on our door looking for us, I have kept an eye out for things to do that will get us out of the house. Unfortunately we live in a rural area and activities are limited.

I'm getting wordy here and having a hard time getting to the point, I'm sorry.

My problem is that I can't seem to interest Michael in ANYTHING. I like riding my bike, I like going for walks, I like going to stores (not necessarily buying anything...), I'd love to learn to kayak or go canoeing or camping or anything...I like to do lots of things. The problem is that I present an idea to Michael and he just shrugs it off. If I make him come with me to do anything I feel like I'm dragging him around. I'm not sure how to deal with this because the staying in the apartment doing nothing is driving me stir crazy. I work all week and the weekends are a welcome break from working with with my students (who all happen to have behavioral challenges and/or emotional disabilities)...but each weekend is spent with me sinking into a depression of my own over my inability to find something we can do.....As for Michael, he doesn't have a job so he is at home 24/7. He says he gets bored...but that doesn't inspire him to do anything else. It can't be healthy

I'd like to blame this all on Michael's depression, but he hasn't been depressed every single weekend.

I dunno, I'm not expecting a solution, I just need to vent.
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