tico74 (tico74) wrote in bpsos,
tico74
tico74
bpsos

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Greetings to group

Hi,

I'm new to this group, but not to the ravages of living with a bi-polar wife. Been married 25 years... 16 of them have been BP "aware years". Have two great kids, ages 9 and 15, to whom I am very attached. Most of the time lately I want to divorce my BPSO, but the idea of putting the kids through that causes paralysis... But I am so very tired and am afraid my life is being robbed as every day passes with very little happiness, save what I get from my kids.

Anyway, I have belonged to various BP significant others groups on the net for a few years and it's always interesting to hear other thoughts and know that others are in the same boat... (It was very lonely during the first 10 years, before the net came along and helped me see I was not alone).

My wife has generally been "med-compliant" though her PDOC has let me know she has always been extremely "med resistant" along with a whole slew of other personality and mental issues. I have slowly learned to truly dislike her, though I know she is not truly to blame... I just wish I could put many, many miles between us. But the kids make that hard.

She has, in the past, threatened to off herself and the kids, but I am not sure if that is a way of making sure I don't do anything radical (like leaving her). Of course, I would not leave my kids with her... but what scares the heck out of me is getting some whacked judge who gives her custody...

But just getting as far as a courtroom is challenging, as she has sponged off of me so much over the years that we really have nothing save our home (for which I have been almost totally responsible for) and credit card bills, etc. I have no money for a lawyer... I have consulted with one...

And I used to love her so darned much...
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